Wish I had an Angel
by Milieva
Summary: Life is difficult for a certain Summoner who seems to have little luck in love. Maybe the fates will smile down on him and he will find a special someone to be happy with. AN: This is an Ascot fic. Not an UmiAscot fic
1. Eye Catch : Old Loves Die Hard

**Wish I had an Angel**

**Eye Catcher: Old Loves Die Hard**

Ascot watched Umi out of the corner of his eye. She wobbled a bit as she walked. Her swollen abdomen was becoming a bit cumbersome to the usually thin knight. With heavy sigh, she dropped to the ground near her friends. With in moments the bag she had brought with her was open and papers were strewn across the grass. Fuu pointed to some highlighted bit of a paper she was holding and helped Umi find the same portion in her own notes. Study time in Cephiro. The knights had used Cephiro as their own private study hall more than once.During the onslaught of high school entrance exams, they were here every weekend so they could get almost a week of study compared to a few days. If it were not for their hard work, the girls would never have ended up at the same high school. They seemed to be so happy attending classes together. Even studying, they seemed to have fun. How he loved to watch them, especially one blue haired knight.

The look of peace on Umi's face hurt him the most. Now that the majority of the stresses she had faced a few short months ago seemed to be solved, she was always sitting quietly stroking the growing line of her belly. The damn thing that had caused her so much pain, made her cry all those tears, now seemed to leave her at peace. What in all of the lands was her problem? Why did she change her mind so quickly? Women. The summoner knew he would never understand them.That smile made him sickest, though. When _he_ walked in the room, she would smile at him. The same damn smile Ascot had assumed would be his. But no, she smiled at him as a _friend_, she said. _"I am sorry, Ascot." _She had said. How was she sorry? Her life was turned upside down by her decision. She shed countless tears over the consequence, and now she was happy with it? She sure didn't act _sorry_.What about him? What was the forgotten one to do? Sit here and watch her be happy?

It took all of his strength to keep from hurling something at that damned mage when he walked into a room. It was his fault that Umi was like this now. His fault that she would never see him as more than a friend. It had been _Clef_ who took her as a bride. Why couldn't he, Ascot, win her heart? What did that damn _Magician_ have to offer? What was better about him?

The summoner finally stood and left when the Madoushi walked into the gardens and crouched down beside Umi to ask her about her doctors appointment. Enough was too much.

:Author's Note:

Hello all. Hate to start a new story before getting near the end of an old one, but I usually have at least three ideas going at once. As many may notice from my old fics. I promise I will try my hardest to finish my current fics. This story was inspired by a the Nightwish song "Wish I had an Angel" as you can tell from the title. It just makes me think of Ascot every time I listen to it. This story starts about midway through another fic that is currently in the works. I have too many damn fic ideas going at once. sigh oh well more for my archive I guess.

If you have any questions, comments, or happy thoughts, please feel free to review.


	2. Chapter One : Virgin Mary Undone

**Warning:** This is an Ascot fic. Not an Umi/Ascot fic. The first romantic pairing mentioned is Umi/Clef. If you cannot read an Umi/Clef fic because of personal preference, I completely understand. Have a lovely day.

* * *

**Wish I had an Angel**

**Chapter One: Virgin Mary Undone**

He should have realized it sooner. He knew that he had known all along, but it still shocked him when he found out. Ascot later wished that he had not discovered it in such a way, maybe if he had confessed his feelings to her sooner… Maybe she might have seen him the way he saw her. No, that was a lie. She never saw him as more than a friend, nor would she ever. No matter how much he wished it, and the memory of that truthful night was forever etched into his mind.

It had been just after sunset when the summoner found him self in that corridor. Umi had retired to her room early, claiming she wasn't feeling well. He was going to go check on her. She had been acting so strangely for a while now. Not only Ascot was worried. Everyone had concerns for the water knight's health, for she had seemed almost feverish when she had arrived this week. The summoner rounded the corner. Light pooled outside of the door. It was open just a bit. He strode forward, but stopped when he heard the voices.

"Umi, this has gone on for long enough."

Clef? What was he doing in Umi's room? That was definitely odd. Ascot knew he shouldn't listen, but he couldn't move. His brain told him that the Mage was just as concerned with Umi's well being as he was, but it was the tone in the answering voice that made his heart ache.

"I really don't want to talk about it now." Umi's voice cracked as if she fought back tears.

"And when, may I ask, _will_ you want to talk about it? You have been avoiding me, and I wish to know why."

Ascot recognized the water knight's soft footfall approaching the doorway. He shrank back to the wall hoping not to be seen snooping. With a soft click, the door was closed, and the voices were muffled beyond comprehension, but the summoner was positive that he heard Umi break down into tears. He turned back down the way he had come. Maybe it had not been the best time to speak with her, he would come back later, and then he would find out what that was all about. The way back down the corridors seemed much longer than it did going. One more turn and he would be back at the main hall.

"Hey, Ascot."

The boy turned to see Caldina stepping out of a door just behind him. "Hi"

"So, she is finally talking to him, then?"

The summoner looked at her in surprise. How had she known where he was? Was he that easy to read?

"Him? Do you mean Clef?"

"Yes. Is that girl, finally talking to him?"

Ascot looked at her strangely, what in the pillar's name did she mean? "Yes."

"Good." Caldina walked past him.

He looked after her for a moment, and then followed almost as an after thought.

* * *

Even though it was becoming late, the garden was set up for a tea. Ascot sat at the small table Presea was already sitting at. Caldina took the seat beside him. "Why did you want to know if Clef and Umi were speaking?"

Presea cast a glance in Caldina's direction. "It took long enough. I was beginning to think that he might just figure it out in a few more moths when she begins to show."

The pink haired woman scoffed. "Or that maybe she was waiting for the child to tell him?"

The summoner's ears perked up at the word. "Child?" Did he hear right?

"Damn", muttered Caldina. "I would have never thought those two would get together."

Presea laughed, half heartedly. "Much less that this would happen, right?"

The bewilderment that Ascot felt must have shown plainly on his face, for both Caldina and Presea stopped talking and looked at him. He was dreadfully curious about what they were talking about, but it also worried him. What did a child have to do with Umi talking to Clef? Why was Clef alone in the bedroom with her? Why did she close the door to tell him why she hadn't been speaking much to him? He was far beyond confused over it.

The summoner was about to ask, what the hell were they talking about, but Just at the moment, Clef came walking into the gardens. His face was white. With a heavy sigh he dropped into the empty seat between Presea and Caldina.

"So she finally told ya?"

The mage looked at the pink-haired woman in mild shock. "How did…"

"Oh, little miss Fuu pulled it out of her about two weeks ago."

"And nobody told me?"

"She said that she wanted to tell you herself, but she was afraid of your reaction."

Clef's head dropped to his hand. He seemed quite upset about something. What was everyone on about? Ascot couldn't understand what they meant. Not to mention, no one would tell him. This was much too frustrating. He was going to find Umi and find out what was going on.

* * *

The corridor seemed darker than it had just a few hours before. The door to the Magic Knights' room was closed. As he couldn't hear voices, Ascot guessed that Hikaru and Fuu hadn't retired for the evening, and Umi was alone. The summoner knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in." Came a muffled reply.

Ascot cautiously entered the room. Umi was sitting huddled under the blankets; her eyes were puffy and red from crying. She looked terrible. Clef left her like this? The summoner couldn't believe that the mage could be so heartless. The thought made him beyond angry. Umi was sitting in here _alone,_ crying, and Clef sat in the other room with everyone else. Bastard. Umi motioned him to sit on the end of the bed.

"Hi." She stated meekly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll live."

Both sat in silence for what seemed a life time for the young summoner. His mind began to wander back to the conversation at the table. What had they been going on about? What did a child have to do with anything?

"Ascot…"

The water knight's voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"Eh?"

"I know you think of me as a friend…"

Now was his chance. It was now or never. He needed to take this chance.

"Actually…I would like us to be more than just good friends."

"I know." Umi paused for a moment. Her head drooped heavily. Ascot's heart sank. He knew what she was about to say. "I'm sorry, Ascot."

"Who is he?"

"Ascot…"

Slowly the pieces of the puzzle began to fit into place. "Clef?" She nodded slowly. If that was so then…the child, the mage's haggard expression…all of it led to only one plausible conclusion. "You and Clef…"

She reached towards the summoner as if to comfort him, only to have her touch shrugged away.

"You are pregnant, aren't you?"

The tears began to well up in her eyes again, but Ascot couldn't help but feel anger towards her. Why hadn't she bothered to mention that she and the mage were beyond being just friends? That was why _he_ had been in her room with her. That was why Caldina asked if they were talking. That was why Umi had been avoiding everyone. Damn, why had he been so blind? He felt worthless. He was an idiot.

"Ascot, I…"

"No, spare me the details."

He stood and left without another word.

* * *

The summoner sat on his own bed rolling the last few hours around in his head. He had been such a jerk. Umi tried to tell him gently, but why hadn't she told him before that she and Clef were… No. She wouldn't have. It would have been a strange conversation. The fact that she and the Guru were _involved,_ in and of itself was strange. Officially, all those who served the pillar personally were to remain celibate. But obviously, tradition was changed with end of the pillar system.

He had lost her. He, Ascot, had lost his one true love to an ancient mage, who had copied his physical transformation. The summoner cursed himself for even hoping that Umi could see him as he saw her. He didn't want to be her friend. Always, he had wanted to be her lover.

…to be continued

* * *

**:Author's Note:**

I now have an Ascot website, Wish I Had an Angel. This fic will be posted there and I welcome any Ascot fanfiction and/or fanart. And feel free to visit my main Rayearth site, Definitely Not Tokyo.

I thank all of you who have reviewed this thus far. I hope it is not too poorly written. I much like this side of the story. Another version will eventually be written, I think. One from Umi's point of view.

I understand that there may be a few who do not see the connection I feel between Ascot and the Nightwish song, "Wish I Had an Angel", but I shall keep writing this fic while listening to it. I also have been told that my portrayal of Ascot is Out of Character, but these are his inner thoughts; thus, one does not know what he truly thinks. And he is only a fictional character. (Yes, Iarly, it did feel a bit like a flame, but that in and of itself amused me, so no hard feelings you are entitle to your own opinion.)

I hope no one else confuses this for an Umi/Ascot fic. If you know me at all you should know that I am a die-hard Umi/Clef fan and cannot even stand to read Ascot/Umi fiction. It doesn't bother me that there are some who will not read my stuff for the same reason.

Sorry for the length of the author's note.


	3. Chapter Two :Burning Angel Wings to Dust

**Wish I Had an Angel**

**Chapter Two:** **Burning Angel Wings to Dust**

Ascot climbed back up the ladder for what had to be the fiftieth time that day. Exactly why Caldina had volunteered him to reorganize the library, he didn't know. For the past few months he had taken any small jobs that would take him far out of sight range of the castle. The farther away the better. Organizing the castle library was a little too close for comfort. With the documents spanning three pillars, it would keep him busy for a few weeks, maybe even a month. The more involving the task, the happier he was, for it meant the less time he had to think of Umi. But the silence of the library was oppressive. After hours at work, the summoner could hardly concentrate on his task. He climbed up the ladder for the fifty-first time, and merely stared at the bindings. His thoughts had turned to a puddle of mush. It was definitely time to take a break.

The summoner wandered down the corridor. He needed some time to think. In the deadly quiet of the library, his thoughts very nearly deafened him. Bird calls echoed down the corridor, drawing him toward the garden. Bright rays of sun enveloped him as he turned into the doorway. A few of the more brazen birds had settled on the grass near the knights of fire and wind, and sang at them as they studied. Papers were strewn about the grass. The indoor garden was the one place you could study among trees and plants, but not have to worry with any sort of a breeze blowing your papers away. Ascot walked along the wall to the bench, and sat down. Giggling drifted over to him, as the ever-informed Fuu set Hikaru straight on an Algebra problem. He relaxed as he listened to his friends, and drifted into a light doze.

It was a soft laugh coming from the entry way that woke Ascot. His head jerked up. Standing in the doorway, talking to Presea, was Umi. She was smiling as she rubbed her swollen belly. With a little wave to the Pharle, the water knight hurried over toward her friends.

Presea walked over and sat beside Ascot. "Greetings, stranger."

"Hi." Ascot answered distractedly. He watched Umi out of the corner of his eye. She wobbled a bit as she walked. Her swollen abdomen was becoming a bit cumbersome to the usually thin knight. With heavy sigh, she dropped to the ground near her friends. With in moments the bag she had brought with her was open and papers were strewn across the grass. Fuu pointed to some highlighted bit of a paper she was holding and helped Umi find the same portion in her own notes. Study time in Cephiro. The knights had used Cephiro as their own private study hall more than once. During the onslaught of high school entrance exams, they were here every weekend so they could get almost a week of study compared to a few days. If it were not for their hard work, the girls would never have ended up at the same school. They seemed to be so happy attending classes together. Even studying, they seemed to have fun. How he loved to watch them, especially one blue haired knight. Even if he did hate her current condition.

The look of peace on Umi's face hurt him the most. Now that the majority of the stresses she had faced a few short months ago seemed to be solved, she was always sitting quietly stroking the growing line of her belly. The damn thing that had caused her so much pain, made her cry all those tears, now seemed to leave her at peace. What in all of the lands was her problem? Why did she change her mind so quickly? Women. The summoner knew he would never understand them.

"So, what have you been up to?"

"Wah?" He pulled out of his thoughts for a moment, and looked over at Presea.

"I asked what you have been doing. As we haven't seen you around much recently."

"Oh. I'm organizing the library." He stated blandly as his attention focused on the figure now entering the garden.

"That sounds dreadfully boring." Presea watched Ascot go ridged with contempt.

It took all of his strength to keep from hurling something at that damned mage when he walked into a room. It was his fault that Umi was like this now. Why couldn't he, Ascot, win her heart? What did that damn _Magician_ have to offer? What was better about him?

Umi smiled at the mage with _that_ smile. Clef crouched beside her and whispered something in her ear. She laughed and motioned him to sit down.

That smile made him sickest, though. When _he_ walked in the room, she would smile at him. The same damn smile Ascot had assumed would be his. But no, she smiled at him as a _friend_, she said. _"I am sorry, Ascot." _She had said. How was she sorry? Her life was turned upside down by her decision. She shed countless tears over the consequence, and now she was happy with it? She sure didn't act _sorry_. What about him? What was the forgotten one to do? Sit here and watch her be happy?

Ascot couldn't take this. He stood and left the garden room. There are better things he could be doing than watching the girl he loved be happy with the one who stole her heart. His live was just too complicated. Why couldn't things be simple like they were before the Magic Knights had to be summoned? Ascot threw the outside door open in frustration. The poor thing shuttered on its hinges. A soft breeze played with the fringe of his hair the moment he stepped outside, but it did little to change his mood, which was beyond crabby. He was too involved in his own thoughts to notice that he was being followed.

"What in the pillar's name is your problem?" The summoner spun around to meet Presea head on, but she kept right on at him. "Why can't you just grow up? Why can't you just let it go?"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you are acting like a fool. You are an idiot that was so blinded by your own selfish love, you couldn't see the truth right before your eyes, and now you wan to make everyone else suffer for it."

"How dare you lecture me on love. You know nothing of how I feel."

"I have known unrequited love more painful than a child like you can understand."

"I am not a child!"

"Then stop acting like one."

"I love her!"

"And what will that do? She is pledged to Clef, and he to her. You need to move on."

"And what if I can't?"

"Then be alone forever." The weapons-smith turned on heel and walked back toward the castle. Ascot stared dumbly after her.

* * *

Passing by the library door for the third time, Ascot decided that the castle needed more corridors for restless pacing. Moonlight sifted through the high-vaulted windows and onto the white marble floor. Night sounds of birds drifted down the corridor towards him, disguising the soft whimper that echoed with them. Ascot stopped and turned toward the entry to the garden. At first glance the only thing he could see in the shadows was the fountain gurgling merrily to itself. His eyes traced its shape momentarily before they fell on a blond head over the far side. 

His first thought was to turn around and pretend that he had never come this way, but he heard the whimpering sound again. One of the village girls perhaps? Not all of them had left after the forming of the new Cephiro. He approached as if it were a sleeping lion. To his amazement the person on the far side was no strange village girl, but Presea. She was clothed in naught but a nightgown, her hair loose and puddle around her hips. Ascot froze. He didn't know what to do. His first instinct was to run, but he felt wrong doing that. He took a step back. He felt more wrong being here. She wanted to be alone. He tried to sneak backward as quietly as he had entered, but this was not his lucky day. Presea looked up.

"Oh, excuse me." He muttered and turned to flee.

"Ascot?"

The way she said his name was stronger than any freezing spell. His feet refused to move in the direction he told them to.

"Ascot, will you stay with me?

As if he were a doll with too few joints, Ascot turned and sat where he stood. He still faced a little away from Presea, trying to spare her some dignity. The Pharle wiped her eyes and combed her fingers through her hair. Presea laid her head back against the fountain edge. "I'm sorry I was cross with you earlier."

Ascot nodded dumbly.

"I shouldn't have put it so harshly, but you are being ridiculous. Your antics pain Umi, you know?" She pause as if waiting for an answer. "She loves you. But not how you want her to. You are a dear friend to her. And she misses talking to you. Why can't you just be happy with that, or at least pretend to be. For her sake."

"So I put on the happy face in front of everyone, but cry alone in the garden at night. I would rather be angry."

"And what good does that do?"

"What good is pretending?'

Both sat in silence for a time. Stealing a few glances of what was the first time he had seen her with her hair down, Ascot realized that this woman he had known for these past few years was actually rather attractive. Maybe more so, if her eyes were not quite so red and swollen. The sound of Presea's voice pulled his attention back from his thoughts.

"I believe both of us are destined to love people who will never love us in return. You at the very least knew you had a chance. I never once thought that I would ever have a chance to be with the one I loved, for he was sworn to the ancient oath of the pillar's court, never to take a bride."

He looked over at Presea as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

"A Magic Knight is almost an untouchable, but there is a minor chance of her being able to stay. It has been ages since anything like that has ever happened, but it is within the realm of possibility. But I never thought he would abandon his oath, not even after the laws changed, at least not so soon, not for a child."

Ascot's eyes grew wide in a moment of realization. He had been an idiot. Here he had been throwing a child's temper tantrum when Presea had gone through, and was still going through the same pain and heart ache as he was. It had never occurred to him that anyone had been in love with Clef. That this marriage was hurting anyone but himself. Dumbly, Ascot placed a comforting hand on Presea's shoulder. He understood why she continued to cultivate a friendship with him, even when he had been unwilling to speak to anyone he felt had _led him on_. They had a bond, and unusual one, but a bond none the less. Both were in love with two people that would never love them in return, and to watch those two people be happy was a terrible heart ache, but they could never let them know.

To be continued…

* * *

**Author's note:**

So this chapter is not only very late at being posted, but it is not very long either. I apologize for both. I do have the final points of the story mostly plotted out, but we will see what happens. I hope to have this story finished within the end of March, but I can make no promises. I am back to work on my stories now that I am back at home after a seven month working-holiday in Walt Disney World.

I noticed that the links to my websites did not work on the last chapter. Again they are angel. psynos. net for my Ascot shrine, and rayearth. psynos. net for my Rayearth site. You'll need to copy and paste them and remove the spaces for them to work. Eveyone thank sciathan file for noticing that my links messed up again. I was able to fix it before the chapter had been up for months. >. 


	4. Chapter Three : Your touch, My Bliss

**Wish I had an Angel**

**Chapter Three: Your touch, my bliss **

The high paned windows vibrated from the heavy crash of the thunder, but none offered to rattle. The castle was too well made for that. Ascot stared out at the grounds; the next lightning bolt illuminated the shadowed trees. His gaze fell on the small pavilion near the garden path. With the next lightning strike he could barely make out a small blue haired figure sitting close to one of the ornate columns. He forced himself to look away; he was aided by the rain pounding harder against the thick paned window. Turning away from the view, the summoner decided to go back to the library. He did still have a few more days' worth of work left to do in there. Ascot paused in the doorway of the dreary room. The heavy, musky scent of the scrolls and books rushed to meet him. He never really cared for the smell. It was beyond his comprehension why the damn mage would spend so much time in here. No matter how he tried to ignore it, he couldn't help but think of Umi. It didn't help that she was currently outside endangering her health. Presea's words came back to him. "_She loves you. You are a dear friend to her. And she misses talking to you._" Why did that blasted water knight do such stupid things at times? He turned on heel and stormed down the corridor. If he couldn't do anything else, he would at least try to get her to come back indoors.

The rain hadn't eased any by the time he made it to the ground floor. Ascot could almost swear that it was pouring down even stronger. He gazed across to the pavilion. It seemed an impossible distance away. The summoner took a step back. Maybe she wouldn't want to talk to him. He had been the one who snubbed her, after all. Taking a deep breath he ran out into the rain. The icy water stung his skin. What was in her head, to be out here?

Ascot was gasping for breath when he reached the pavilion. He could hardly hold his head up; his waterlogged hat must have weighed a ton. Ripping the stupid thing off, he wrung it out in his hands.

"Ascot?"

Umi looked up him questioningly. Her hand rested lightly on her round belly. The cloak she was wearing looked vaguely like one of Clef's.

The summoner swallowed hard. What the hell was he supposed to say? "It's um… Well… It's raining…" _Oh great job, idiot. State the obvious._

The water knight smiled. "I know." She moved over on the bench and motioned for him to sit down.

"Why are out here? It can't be good for you or the…" He still couldn't bring himself to say it.

"I couldn't sleep." She stared out at the rain soaked flowers. Her fingers absentmindedly running over the distended line of her stomach.

"But to come out here?"

"I like the rain. I can always fall asleep listening to it. Besides, she sleeps to the sound too." Umi ran both hands lovingly over her belly and smiled up at him.

"She? How do you know?"

"I just do." She pulled the cloak closer around herself. "I don't know how, but I do."

Both sat silently for a moment. The rain was beginning to let up, and small tendrils of light were peeking through the cloud cover. Umi sighed and gazed up at the sky. "How have you been?"

He wasn't sure how to tell the person you love that you cannot come to terms with the child growing in her womb. That every second you have lived since the day that you found out, has been agony. So he said the same thing he had used two days ago when Presea asked him a similar question. "I'm organizing the library."

"Presea told me that much, but how are _you_, Ascot?" She looked him straight in the eye as she asked this.

"I'll survive."

Umi nodded.

Ascot turned away from her. Seconds ticked by lie days in the silence. There were so many things he wanted to say, but none of them seemed right. This was a bad idea. He shouldn't have come out here. But he did say he would at least get her back indoors.

"We should be getting you back up to the castle… That mage might be worried about you."

She smiled again. "He's not there to worry. He…"

So Clef had left her alone, again. Why did he treat her like that? What did she see in him? Any man that would leave his wife alone when she came to visit him…especially if she were…

"…and Ferio…Ascot?" Umi looked up at him. Worry was etched on her face. "Are you alright?"

He nodded dumbly.

"Alright." She watched him questioningly as she continued. "Both he and Ferio are at the Council. They won't be around until this afternoon. But you are right, we should head back to the castle; it is almost time for breakfast." She reached out and touched his hand. The familiar electric shock ran through the summoner's veins. Why couldn't he just forget how much he loved her? He tried to calm his pounding heart. His cheeks burned. Why did she still do this to him?

"Are you sure you're alright?" Umi was now standing before him holding his hand between hers.

"Yes….Yes, I'm fine." He muttered as he stood to follow her up the muddy pathway.

"So, you finally found the dirty books, eh?"

The shattering of the silence startled Ascot so badly he nearly dropped the book he had been reading. He turned to the owner of the cocky voice in the doorway. Caldina just grinned at him, ruffled his hair and took the book from him. She flipped through the pages and let out a sound of disgust.

"This thing is beyond out of date. What _are_ you reading it for?"

"No reason in particular."

"Uh Huh…right… and I am Pillar of Cephiro."

"Seriously."

"Come on. Nobody reads Saldir's _The Female Body_ without reason. The thing is terribly graphic and grossly inaccurate." She glanced at the page Ascot had been studying quite intensely. "_The Calendar of Child bearing…_honestly."

"I was just wondering."

Caldina gave him a pained look.

"I have nothing to talk about with her. I thought that if I could…Well if I…"

"You have almost all the same friends in common. You have known her for two years. It's not like she is an entirely different person now that she is going to have that geezer's kid."

"But…"

She made an impatient gesture. "No. I don't want any excuses. You were the one who wanted to grow up so soon. You're not a child any longer. Be a man. You're not too bad looking, even if that hat is a bit silly looking and that hair…"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just shut up and take advice when it's given to you." She shoved the book back into his hands. "You need a new girl to obsess over." Caldina scratched her head paced over to the book shelf. A text on weapons making caught her eye. Hmm… Why hadn't she thought of that before? "Maybe you and Presea…"

"Are you drunk or something?"

"Well, both of you need someone new to focus you energies on…" The dancer wandered to another set of shelves she picked up a worn copy of _Pleasure Positions_, and began to thumb through it. "If you two just…hm...I never thought of that one" She turned the book sideways and looked more closely at the picture.

Ascot turned scarlet as he realized what Caldina was reading. Her words slowly clicked into the little used circuits of his brain. "I am _not_ going to wed with her."

"I wasn't suggesting for you to." She snapped the book shut. "_This_ is for my own personal use, but if you change your mind…"

If it was at all possible, the summoner turned a darker shade of red. "I really don't think that it would…"

The dancer smacked him across the back of the head. "What did I say about listening to advise? I said nothing about following it. Just listening to it. Now listen. If you and Presea tried to work out a relationship…and say it did alright. You both might be happier, yeah?"

She pranced out of the room with her thickly bound book under one arm.

Ascot sighed. The world must just fall apart differently with the pillar system destroyed. At the very least his world had fallen upside down since the day has found Umi crying in her bedroom.

To be continued…..

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the shortness. I am still trying to figure this story out. Caldina just appeared as I was writing. On another note, I haven't completely edited this because I'm lazy. I will double check it on Tue, so forgive any errors

**Shameless Plug:** There is now a forum on my website. The URL is cephiro(dot)psynos(dot)net . (FFN is touchy about URL's so I worked with the problem)


	5. Chapter Four : A Step Outside

**Wish I Had an Angel**

**Chapter Four: A Step Outside**

It was more Presea's influence than anything else. Yes, Caldina had tried to help, but her 'shut up and get over it' approach didn't work so well for him. His friendship with Presea was the biggest factor because it gave him someone who understood how he felt; though, she was always more than willing to tell him when he was being pigheaded.

Having someone to talk to helped a great deal. It was making things easier for him, and he hoped it was making things easier for Presea as well. It was just comforting to know that someone else was experiencing the same thing.

Ascot shuffled through the stack of papers strewn across the desk. Some of the handwriting was smudged. Others were just difficult to read. This was his final task to complete and the library would be officially organized. He found himself wishing Clef were around so he could help with this final sort. The mage could read anything or even knew what it was about by the paper or handwriting.

The Supreme Yil had only kept up with his minimal paperwork recently. Nearly all his time was being spent with Umi in her world. The baby was due anytime now and he was not allowing her to travel between worlds. Everyone was on edge wanting to know anything about the water knight and her condition.

The other two knights would be arriving for their weekly visit in two days, and they would have more news then.

Sifting through through a few more loose pages, the summoner decided to make a visit to the kitchens. His stomach had taken that moment to remind him how long he had been at work.

The sun shone cheerfully though the high windows as Ascot made his way through the long corridors. He even found himself humming a quiet tune.

Rounding the corner to the kitchens, Ascot bumped into as very haggard Clef. A fabric wrapped box tumbled from the mage's hands when they collided.

"Sorry" Ascot hurriedly picked up the box.

"No harm done. They are just as good crumbled."

A gentle spiced aroma greeted Ascot as he handed the warm box back to Clef.

"Tulva's meat pastries?"

""Umi was having a craving." Clef stated simply as he took the box from Ascot. His tired expression made the summoner glad he was not the one in the mage's position.

"How is she?"

"Doing well. Fussing about being home for so long, and another of other things. She is ready for it to be done and over with."

Ascot nodded and let Clef pass.

Tulva was cheerfully baking away when Ascot walked into the kitchen. She was a short plump woman. Her dark hair pulled into a knot at the back of her neck. She was such a cheerful easy person that any one who cooked under her didn't want to leave. But many were called away once the castle refugees returned to their own villages.

The cook adored Clef. It had been mentioned that she had run his personal kitchens when he kept a separate house form Emeraude's palace, and the followed him to the palace when he took up a permanent position.

When it had come out that Umi had fallen pregnant and the child was Clef's, Tulva was more than willing to make any dish the girl liked. She even let Umi in to help at times.

There was a platter sitting on the edge of the worktop designated for the walk-ins. Proper meals were served at four designated times in the dinning hall. Only three pastries were left on the platter.

"I'm just pulling more out, Love." Tulva called from the far side of the kitchen. She appeared before him carrying a pan full of freshly baked pastries.

Ascot took the first moment to just breathe in the warm smell.

"Take them while their hot." The cook placed one onto a plate and set it in front of him, while she filled the platter with the others.

"They smell wonderful." The summoner picked him up and took a bite.  
"You think that baby will be a boy or girl?"

I didn't take any thought to know what baby she was talking about. Clef's child was always at the top of her list of conversation topics.  
"Umi says it's a girl." He commented through a mouthful.

"Just what Mage Clef said. Where you think she got that idea from?" Tulva put the pan back and wiped her hands on her apron. "He doesn't seem to argue that point. Women want girls, yeah. But most men want boys."

"He doesn't want a boy?" Ascot asked incredulously.

"Just said he wants both mother and baby to be healthy after the birth." She laughed and gave him another pastry. "Sounds like him, don't it? Always diplomatic. She's the one carrying the baby, so he won't argue, yeah?"

"And he's taken those pastries for her."

"Don't I know it. Asked for them special, he did." Tulva turned back to the main kitchen as her under cooks came in for dinner preparations. She called over her shoulder before the summoner left.

"The way that man does, you'd think the sun rose and set on her."

Ascot left the kitchen with his stomach full and his mind deep in thought.

Even before the news of the pregnancy became common knowledge, Clef had seemed to drop anything when ever Umi needed something. As the knights' visits were not too very long, it was an easy thing to overlook, but the summoner's infatuation with the knight had made it a little more prevalent.

The library was not empty when Ascot returned. Presea was sitting at the desk sifting through the parchment mountain.

"The never ending task." She teases, looking up.

"I know."

"He strode over and picked up the document that had been the bane of his existence a few hours past.

"This doesn't even look like our language." He stated, holding the offending piece of paper for her to see.

Presea laughed.

"That looks like Adio." The pharle pulled it from his hand. "It is Adio. He writes on weapon making."

Taking the scrap back, Ascot placed it in the appropriate stack and picked up another.

"What about this one?"

"History."

Thogether they continued the sorting. On and off Presea would tease him for not knowing so many of them. Asking if he had studies anything at all. Other times neither of them knew right off, so they would spend a quearter hour trying to decifer the writing on some of the particularly aged documents.

Leaning back in her chair, Presea laughed again. "I rember reading this during my apprenticeship."

She shoved the paper into Ascot's hand.

"It was out dated even then."

The summoner laughed. "Did you master really make you read this?"

"No, he told me not to study it because it was irrelevant. So I read it anyway."

"Was he angry?"

"No. He laughed at me 'cause he knew how boring it was."

They both laughed. Who knew sorting paper work could be fun.

Suddenly Presea set down the few pages she was thumbing through. "I don't know about you, but I could use some dinner."

This is why it had taken them two days to get through this much done. After an hour or so, the pharle would want to go for a walk, a meal, or a game of cards. Basically anything to take a break from the monotonous activity.

The two had just joined Caldina and Ferio at a table in the dining hall and were chatting about how late the knights were in their arrival. Normally they were there a few hours before dinner and joined everyone in the hall on that first night.

As if on cue, Hikaru and Fuu burst through the doors with their bas still in hand. Hikaru reached them first. She tossed her Bag on the floor and pulled a thick envelope out of a pocket. Once emptied on the table it revealed a pile of photographs.

"It's a girl!" She shrieked in excitement.

Ascot picked up the closest photo. An older woman, who he recognized as Umi's mother from her visit a few months back, sat beside the knight on her hospital bed as she held the tiny infant. Umi smiled with proud exhaustion.

"She looks just like that old geezer." Caldina stated as she held up a picture of the baby screaming, her lavender fluff sticking out in all directions.

"The resemblance is uncany." Presea laughed. "Have they decided on a name yet?"

"Naoko." Hikaru chirpped. "She's so tiny. I thought I'd break her."

The rest of the even was spent in discussion of the newest addition to this circle of friends. All the photos conituned to round the table as new members joined in on the fawning. It had been a long while since a new baby had been born to a resident of the castle.

* * *

Author's Note: Oh my God. I actualy finished it. Yes, that is the end, but there will be an epilogue. No worries. I also plan to have a proper Umi side of the story at some point. I suppose it took this year hiatus for Ascot to clam down and just go with the flow. I hope you all liked it. And I am sorry I took so long to finish it. Sorry the chapter is rather short.

Reviews are always appreciated, as are questions. All my contact info can be found in my profile.


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